Monday, March 30, 2015

Please life......

.....could you let something work out for a change?! It seems like a small thing...but this morning my laptop crashed...hard! I can't get it to boot past about all the tips and tricks I've managed to Google will not work.
But my life is on that laptop....I need to access my work site, all my pics, all my art classes, my daily job search and yes my guilty pleasure of Netflix (but I don't have cable so I don't feel too bad about my Netflix watching haha)
Due to underemployment, not enough hours a week, I can't just take my laptop in somewhere to get it fixed. Everyday is a struggle financially right now and it's breaking/beating me down. Cell bill is overdue, rent is due and I'd really like to grocery shop and be able to cook dinner a few times a week. PB  & J sandwiches get old fast.
i was so happy to move home to Langley a year and a half ago but things have not gone well or anything like I expected. I'm just so tired of struggling and trying and things not working out!
I just want to work, full time, be able to catch up and take care of monthly expenses and go grocery shopping. And yes I'd like to be able to buy some art supplies for my classes or just for projects I want to make. Just so done with trying so hard and being kicked while I'm down :(

Well that's my vent/self pity for the day. I try to keep it all in and put on the good show with everyone that things are okay. But it's exhausting to do that all the time. I don't leave my house much on my days off because I can't afford to waste the gas in my car. When no oneis around, I cry aa lot. I know it doesn't help anything but I can cry while I do my job search daily lol well until my laptop crashed today. So yes I did this really mature thing and curled up with my blankie and cried myself to sleep! Again, i know it didn't solve anything or make things better, but I felt a bit better after finally getting some sleep. Still just all the small things keep adding up and I justices like an overwhelmed loser.

Now we need some positive thoughts....I did have a job interview today with a company i think would be awesome to work for (fingers crossed). We did have a great family dinner for my Dad's 67th birthday on Saturday. Got to do a fun day with my nephews at Svience World last week....and those boys are so awesome ♥

I think that's enough for today.....thanks for sticking with me and reading! Sometimes it's helpful just to get stuff out, even if it's not seen by lots of people.

Have an awesome week everyone!


Saturday, March 21, 2015

It's the Weekend!

Another weekend has arrived!

Does everyone have a busy one planned? For those of us with nicer weather....any gardens being started this weekend? Or is it an arting weekend?

I don't have the space where my suite is to have a garden etc so not doing any of that, but I do go down the street and help my sister with hers during the spring and summer. It's kind of nice to be able to do some gardening but not have the whole thing to take care of. It works for me, I get to do some gardening, take pics of the flowers, spend time with my sister and hang out with my nephews, and my sister gets some help in her huge garden!

I am going to work on some art projects in a bit. I have a 12X12 canvas on the go for my sister, should be done tonight I hope. Then I'm going to work on a couple of my Life Book lessons as well.

And at some point I really should grab some dinner. So all in all a pretty quiet day/night for me and I am okay with that.

Next weekend will be busier, it's Craft Night with the girls at my house on Friday, out for dinner for my Dad's 67th birthday on Saturday and the season finale of The Walking Dead on Sunday!! I am going to have withdrawals having to wait till next fall for my Walking Dead fix!!

Have a great evening all, I may even be back later with finished projects, but no promises on that one! :)


Friday, March 20, 2015

An Arty Kind of Day

The whole day wasn't arty.....I did spend the morning and part of the afternoon with my Dad and my nephews. The boys are on Spring Break here so we went and did the walk around Fort Langley. The boys climbed the tower, walked the wall, watched the blacksmith and the wood carver, got to hammer and bend their own small piece of metal and climbed up on a large stack of barrels. It was a busy day, then out for lunch and home to have some quiet time. Pretty good start to the day, time with 3 of my favorite guys!

Then I walked home from my sister's, and was just in time to catch Art Anthology and their live tutorial on Ustream. Such a great page made by Lanette today and I am so glad to have caught it. And while listening to her teach, she made a comment about NOT over thinking everything....which I do, often! But she said in the video, see Cathy no over thinking, when she did a page showing us the amazing Dimensional Gems colors. So I listened! And didn't over think and just went and made some backgrounds in my art journal. Not sure what is going over top of them yet, but they are ready to go! Lanette Erickson was a great teacher today and you can check out her blog and her designs HERE

I did these two pages with DecoArt Fluid Acrylics and splattered with rubbing alcohol to give it the mottled look. They didn't turn out like Andy Skinner's did, but I'm going to work with it and going to try the same technique on different paper.

This was done was done just using some Liquitex Inks and water, in a few colors I love.

I also caught the Live with Prima class with Bona Rivera-Tran. It was her very first tutorial and she did this amazing tray with Prima's Bella Rouge line. She did an amazing job and was so fast at all the fussy cutting, so glad I managed to catch this one! Bona also used one of Julie Nutting's doll stamps and it was gorgeous!

So it ended up being an arty day....and I haven't done my project yet but I did watch my Life Book 2015 lesson with Jane Davenport...again :)

Also on my desk right now are two canvasses, one is going to be for my sister with a picture of her boys on it and the other one is just hodgy podgy right now and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but I am finding that I like having more than one project one the go...we'll see how long that lasts for LOL

The one in shades of blue is going to be the one for my sister, did the background with my Gelatos and water then sealed it with clear gesso. The other one has paint, collage, modelling paste and stencils and bit of Dylusions.

Thanks for popping in and hope a wonderful weekend is waiting for everyone!


Monday, March 16, 2015

Two In One Day

Crazy.....I'm still up!! I really should be sleeping at almost 5am, but you know how it goes when you start one thing and just want to finish it, but then you find something else, then you remember that other thing you wanted to research etc etc etc!! I am on information overload!

Trying to find a free watermark program so that I can put up more of my photos and not have them taken and used by others, there's alot out there. Then trying to tie all my online life together, again so much to learn and remember. But in the end will be so worth it I think.

I'm actually really looking forward to making my blog more than just my ramblings, but also sharing of more things that interest me or meals/dishes that I make or have tried from others, of course all my art related things, my photography and maybe some custom orders for cards or scrapbooks or canvasses. And maybe one day the place to share my projects for a design team I get chosen for, but that is probably very far in the future, but I'm going to start trying!

Have a wonderful Monday everyone!


Life Book and Life

Wow....the days and weeks just seem to be going so fast lately. I have worked on and completed a few more of my Life Book 2015 lessons! I am really looking forward to working on the ones I have waiting for me. So many new things to learn and so many techniques to work on getting better at. And the supplies!!! Oh lordy I need 5 jobs so I can shop for art stuff whenever I want too!! You all know what I'm talking about! LOL Especially now that I'm actually using the supplies that I have been "collecting" for so long, I need to replenish the basics regularly!

As for life....well it's the everyday ups and downs. March 15 would have been my Dad and Mom's 42nd anniversary, but this was the second one without her. Mom has been gone for a year and a half now, some days it still feels like it happened yesterday and some days it's not as painful, for me. For my Dad it's always painful and he misses her and still cries almost everyday for her. He keeps busy and looks after his littlest grandsons (7 and 3) and they keep him on his toes and he does things for his Mom (93) and his brother so he's on the go alot, and I'm lucky that I get to spend time with too and with the little ones. But somedays he just mentions Mom and he tears up, or he forgets the words to a song he wants to teach the little ones and cries because he says Mom would remember all the words. I know everyone in my family struggles with the loss still, but we all had our own lives, but for Dad his whole life was wrapped up with my Mom's.
I miss her every day, I know people say it gets easier, I haven't found that yet. It's just different. I miss showing my Mom all the things I make or create, she was my biggest fan when it came to my creative stuff. And she was usually the recipient of all the new things I came up with. My kids miss her, they were very close to her and there was no one in the world aside from me that my son was more loyal too. It broke my heart that his 18th birthday (legal in Alberta) had to be celebrated just 8 days after my Mom passed and 4 days after her service. He didn't want to celebrate at all, but we had to remind him...if Grandma was here she'd be all over taking him to a pub and buying him his first legal drink and I think it helped that my Dad said he was coming out. The things family does to protect and help the ones they love. I still have days where I just don't feel like it's real and I have days where I'm angry and days where the littlest thing or a song makes me cry and then there are the moments when someone says something about Mom and we all laugh. Those are the best moments, doesn't mean I don't miss her, but it's nice to laugh when we talk about her sometimes too.

Life in general is......challenging. Still looking for work as my current job is not enough hours to survive. There has got to be the right job out there for me!! I just keep getting up everyday and trying and applying and really try to not let the negative take over....ans sometimes that is a job all on it's own! But I can't wallow in the bad stuff, it doesn't do me any good and it certainly won't make the day better.

I have been doing some work with The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and making a few steps forward with that. Trying to declutter and  organize was my first month's goals and my second one is too make a more concentrated effort on updating my blog at least weekly, sharing more of the creative things I love and find on my interent adventures and also to put myself out there and work on some projects and apply for some design teams! These are things that although I can't make them my job, they do make me happy and I love to create!

Thanks all for checking in and we'll talk soon!